200 Spooky Halloween Jokes for Kids


It’s spooky season again and everyone’s getting ready for costumes and trick-or-treating! What better way to ramp up the excitement than with a few laughs? This list of our favorite Halloween jokes for kids will have you howling.

1. How can you tell a vampire has a cold?

How can you tell a vampire has a cold?

He starts coffin.

2. Who do monsters buy cookies from?

Who do monsters buy cookies from?- halloween jokes for kids

Ghoul scouts.

3. What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?

A sand-witch.

4. Why didn’t the skeletons cross the road?

Why didn’t the skeletons cross the road?- halloween jokes for kids

They had no guts.

5. How do you make a skeleton laugh?

How do you make a skeleton laugh?

Tickle her funnybone.

6. Why are ghosts bad liars?

Why are ghosts bad liars?- halloween jokes for kids

Because you can see right through them.

7. What has hundreds of ears but can’t hear a thing?

What has hundreds of ears but can’t hear a thing?

A cornfield!

8. What do birds say on Halloween?

What do birds say on Halloween?

Trick or tweet!

9. Why did the skeleton stay home from the dance?

Why did the skeleton stay home from the dance?- halloween jokes for kids

She had no body to go with.

10. What salutation does a vampire use to start a letter?

What salutation does a vampire use to start a letter?

Tomb it may concern …

11. What’s a witch’s favorite school subject?

What's a witch's favorite school subject?- halloween jokes for kids

Spelling.

12. What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument?

What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument?

A sax-a-bone.

13. What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?

What's a vampire's favorite holiday?- halloween jokes for kids

Fangs-giving.

14. Why was there no food at the end of the monster party?

Why was there no food at the end of the monster party?

Because everyone was a goblin.

15. Who won the skeleton beauty contest?

Who won the skeleton beauty contest?

No body.

16. What do ghosts serve for dessert?

What do ghosts serve for dessert?- halloween jokes for kids

I-scream.

17. What is Dracula’s favorite ice-cream flavor?

What is Dracula’s favorite ice-cream flavor?

Vein-illa.

18. What is a ghost’s favorite food?

What is a ghost’s favorite food?- halloween jokes for kids

Spook-ghetti.

19. What is a zombie’s favorite thing to eat?

What is a zombie's favorite thing to eat?

Brain food.

20. Where does Dracula keep his money?

Where does Dracula keep his money?

At the blood bank.

21. How do you fix a broken jack-o’-lantern?

How do you fix a broken jack-o'-lantern?- halloween jokes for kids

With a pumpkin patch.

22. What kind of tests do vampires give their students?

What kind of tests do vampires give their students?

Blood tests.

23. What boats do vampires travel in?

What boats do vampires travel in?

Blood vessels.

24. What do witches order at a hotel?

What do witches order at a hotel?

Broom service.

25. What do skeletons say before eating?

What do skeletons say before eating?- halloween jokes for kids

Bone appetite!

26. Why don’t mummies take vacations?

Why don’t mummies take vacations?

They’re afraid to relax and unwind.

27. Why do ghosts like to go to parties?

Why do ghosts like to go to parties?

Because they have a lot of spirit.

28. What is white, black, and dead all over?

What is white, black, and dead all over?- halloween jokes for kids

A zombie trick-or-treating in a tuxedo.

29. Why was the ghost afraid of the storm?

Why was the ghost afraid of the storm?

It had too much thunder and fright-ning.

30. What room does a ghost not need?

What room does a ghost not need?

A living room.

31. Why don’t witches ride their brooms when they’re angry?

Why don’t witches ride their brooms when they’re angry?- halloween jokes for kids

They’re afraid of flying off the handle.

32. What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?

Frostbite.

33. Why did the skeleton stay out in the snow all night?

Why did the skeleton stay out in the snow all night?

He was chillin’ to the bone.

34. How do monsters like their eggs?

How do monsters like their eggs?- halloween jokes for kids

Terri-fried.

35. What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Sham-boo.

36. Why did the zombie go to school?

Why did the zombie go to school?

He wanted to improve his deaducation.

37. What kind of music do mummies listen to?

What kind of music do mummies listen to?- halloween jokes for kids

Wrap music.

38. Why are graveyards so noisy?

Why are graveyards so noisy?

Because of all the coffin.

39. What do you call a haunted chicken?

What do you call a haunted chicken?

A poultry-geist.

40. Why did the witch go to the doctor?

Why did the witch go to the doctor?

Because she had a broomstick in her throat.

41. What’s a monster’s favorite game?

What’s a monster’s favorite game?

Swallow the leader.

42. Why did the vampire flunk art class?

Why did the vampire flunk art class?

He could only draw blood.

43. What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon?

What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon?- halloween jokes for kids

A sourpuss.

44. Why didn’t the mom let the little witch go trick-or-treating with her friends?

Why didn't the mom let the little witch go trick-or-treating with her friends?

She was ex-spelled from school.

45. Why was the jack-o’-lantern afraid?

Why was the jack-o'-lantern afraid?

It had no guts.

46. Why don’t zombies eat fast food?

Why don’t zombies eat fast food?

Because they can’t catch it.

47. Why did the ghost break up with the ghoul?

Why did the ghost break up with the ghoul?- halloween jokes for kids

He felt she was too possessive.

48. Why did the ghost go to the party?

Why did the ghost go to the party?

Because it was boo-ling night.

49. Why don’t mummies play baseball?

Why don’t mummies play baseball?

They’re afraid they’ll get wrapped up in the game.

50. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?

What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?

A blood orange.

51. Why was the skeleton so lonely?

Why was the skeleton so lonely?- halloween jokes for kids

He had no body to love.

52. What does a ghost say when it sneezes?

What does a ghost say when it sneezes?

Boo!

53. What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?

 What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?

Boo-boos.

54. Why don’t ghosts like rain?

Why don’t ghosts like rain?

It dampens their spirits.

55. How do ghosts do their makeup before they go out trick-or-treating?

How do ghosts do their makeup before they go out trick-or-treating?

They use vanishing cream.

56. What’s a witch’s favorite makeup?

What’s a witch’s favorite makeup?- halloween jokes for kids

Mas-scare-a.

57. How do vampires get around on Halloween night?

How do vampires get around on Halloween night?

By blood vessel.

58. Why don’t skeletons dance at parties?

Why don’t skeletons dance at parties?

They have no body to dance with.

59. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?

What did the ghost teacher say to her class?

“Look at the board and I’ll go through it again!”

60. Why are mummies good at keeping secrets?

Why are mummies good at keeping secrets?- halloween jokes for kids

Because they can keep things under wraps.

61. How did the zombie become great at trick-or-treating?

How did the zombie become great at trick-or-treating?

Dead-ication.

62. Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

63. What do you call a fat pumpkin?

What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.

64. What kind of car does Frankenstein drive on Halloween night?

What kind of car does Frankenstein drive on Halloween night?

A monster truck.

65. What’s a vampire’s least favorite food?

What’s a vampire’s least favorite food?- halloween jokes for kids

Stakes.

66. How does a witch style her hair?

How does a witch style her hair?

With scare-spray.

67. Why don’t vampires have more friends?

Why don’t vampires have more friends?- halloween jokes for kids

Because they’re a pain in the neck.

68. What did the skeleton say when he rode his motorcycle?

What did the skeleton say when he rode his motorcycle?

“I’m bone to be wild!”

69. What kind of dog does a vampire have?

What kind of dog does a vampire have?- halloween jokes for kids

A bloodhound.

70. Why did the ghost refuse to go into the haunted house?

Why did the ghost refuse to go into the haunted house?

He was scared stiff.

71. What’s a witch’s favorite snack?

What’s a witch’s favorite snack?

Bewitched crackers.

72. Why did the mummy go to the doctor?

Why did the mummy go to the doctor?- halloween jokes for kids

Because he was feeling a bit under-wrapped.

73. What do you get when you cross a witch and a sandcastle?

What do you get when you cross a witch and a sandcastle?

A sand-witch.

74. Why did Dracula become a vegetarian?

Why did Dracula become a vegetarian?

Because biting people was a pain in the neck.

75. What’s a ghost’s favorite street?

What’s a ghost’s favorite street?- halloween jokes for kids

A dead end.

76. What do you call a vampire that lives in a kitchen?

What do you call a vampire that lives in a kitchen?

Count Spatula.

77. How do ghosts keep fit?

How do ghosts keep fit?

By exorcising regularly.

78. What’s a vampire’s favorite candy?

What’s a vampire’s favorite candy?- halloween jokes for kids

Suckers.

79. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?

Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?

To get a spare rib.

80. What do you call two witches sharing an apartment?

What do you call two witches sharing an apartment?- halloween jokes for kids

Broom-mates.

81. What’s a ghost’s favorite game?

What’s a ghost’s favorite game?

Hide-and-shriek.

82. What do you get when you cross a ghost with a bee?

What do you get when you cross a ghost with a bee?

A boo-bee.

83. Why do mummies make terrible friends?

Why do mummies make terrible friends?- halloween jokes for kids

Because they’re wrapped up in themselves.

84. How do skeletons send letters?

How do skeletons send letters?

Through the bony express.

85. Why was the mummy so tense?

Why was the mummy so tense?

He was all wound up.

86. Who gives Dracula the most candy on Halloween?

Who gives Dracula the most candy on Halloween?- halloween jokes for kids

His fang-club.

87. What do witches put on their hair?

What do witches put on their hair?

Scare conditioner.

88. Who does a werewolf go trick-or-treating with?

Who does a werewolf go trick-or-treating with?- halloween jokes for kids

His cousins Whatwolf and Whenwolf.

89. What do you call a monster who likes to dance?

What do you call a monster who likes to dance?

The boogie man.

90. What did one ghost say to the other?

What did one ghost say to the other?- halloween jokes for kids

“Do you believe in people?”

91. What’s a ghost’s favorite ride at the amusement park?

What’s a ghost’s favorite ride at the amusement park?

The roller-ghoster.

92. Why did the zombie stay home from school?

Why did the zombie stay home from school?- halloween jokes for kids

He felt rotten.

93. What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school?

What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school?- halloween jokes for kids

Hex-ercise.

94. What do vampires use in the kitchen?

What do vampires use in the kitchen?- halloween jokes for kids

Fang-cy utensils.

95. Why did the haunted house apply for a job?

Why did the haunted house apply for a job?

It wanted to start earning a ghostly income.

96. What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?

What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?- halloween jokes for kids

Spare ribs.

97. What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?

Lots of blood tests.

98. Why did the ghost bring a ladder to the bar?

Why did the ghost bring a ladder to the bar?

Because he heard the drinks were on the house.

99. What did the witch say when her broom broke?

What did the witch say when her broom broke?- halloween jokes for kids

“Witch way to the repair shop?”

100. Why did the monster eat a light bulb?

 Why did the monster eat a light bulb?

He wanted a light snack.

101. Why don’t ghosts eat candy?

Why don’t ghosts eat candy?- halloween jokes for kids

They don’t have the stomach for it.

102. What kind of key opens a haunted house?

What kind of key opens a haunted house?

A spoo-key.

103. Why do vampires like baseball?

Why do vampires like baseball?

Because they love bats.

104. What’s a ghost’s favorite pie?

What’s a ghost’s favorite pie?- halloween jokes for kids

Boo-berry.

105. What did one haunted house say to the other?

What did one haunted house say to the other?- halloween jokes for kids

“I’ve got a lot of ghost stories to tell!”

106. Where do ghosts buy their Halloween candy?

Where do ghosts buy their Halloween candy?

At the ghost-ery store.

107. What do witches use to cook their dinner?

What do witches use to cook their dinner?- halloween jokes for kids

A cauldron, of course!

108. How does a vampire like his food served?

How does a vampire like his food served?

Bite-sized.

109. What do you call a monster who loves to play tricks?

What do you call a monster who loves to play tricks?- halloween jokes for kids

Prankenstein.

110. Why did the mummy get promoted?

Why did the mummy get promoted?

He’s always wrapped up in his work.

111. What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit?

What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit?

Boo-nanas!

112. Why do skeletons make bad chefs?

Why do skeletons make bad chefs?- halloween jokes for kids

They always leave the ribs in.

113. What’s a witch’s favorite ride at the amusement park?

What’s a witch’s favorite ride at the amusement park?- halloween jokes for kids

The scary-go-round.

114. Why did the ghost go into the bar?

Why did the ghost go into the bar?- halloween jokes for kids

For the boos.

115. Why don’t mummies take naps?

Why don’t mummies take naps?

They’re afraid they’ll sleep for centuries.

116. What do you call a witch’s garage?

What do you call a witch’s garage- halloween jokes for kids

A broom closet.

117. Why did the ghost quit studying?

Why did the ghost quit studying?- halloween jokes for kids

Because he was too ghoul for school.

118. What do you call a skeleton who won’t work?

What do you call a skeleton who won’t work?

Lazy bones.

119. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?

What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?

Squash.

120. What Halloween candy is never on time for a party?

What Halloween candy is never on time for a party?- halloween jokes for kids

Choco-LATE!

121. What kind of monster loves to disco?

What kind of monster loves to disco?

A boogie man.

122. Why did the vampire need mouthwash?

Why did the vampire need mouthwash?- halloween jokes for kids

Because he had bat breath.

123. What kind of car does a ghost drive?

What kind of car does a ghost drive?

A Boo-ick.

124. Why don’t mummies play hide-and-seek?

Why don’t mummies play hide-and-seek?- halloween jokes for kids

Because they’re always found unwrapped.

125. What did one bat say to the other?

What did one bat say to the other?

“You’re fang-tastic!”

126. Why don’t zombies eat clowns?

Why don’t zombies eat clowns?

Because they taste funny.

127. Why don’t skeletons watch scary movies?

Why don’t skeletons watch scary movies?- halloween jokes for kids

They don’t have the nerves for it.

128. Why do witches wear name tags?

Why do witches wear name tags?- halloween jokes for kids

So they know which witch is which.

129. What’s a ghost’s favorite nursery rhyme?

What’s a ghost’s favorite nursery rhyme?

“Little Boo Peep.”

130. What kind of monster is best at math?

What kind of monster is best at math?- halloween jokes for kids

Count Dracula.

131. What did the witch say to the goblin?

What did the witch say to the goblin?

“I’m goblin up this candy!”

132. What does a little witch use to bake?

What does a little witch use to bake?- halloween jokes for kids

An Easy Bake Coven.

133. Where does a vampire eat his lunch?

Where does a vampire eat his lunch?

In the casketeria.

134. Why do zombies make good DJs?

Why do zombies make good DJs?- halloween jokes for kids

They have great taste in beats.

135. Why did the vampire go to art school?

Why did the vampire go to art school?

He wanted to learn how to draw blood.

136. What’s a ghost’s favorite color?

What’s a ghost’s favorite color?- halloween jokes for kids

Boo-lue.

137. What kind of music do ghosts love?

What kind of music do ghosts love?

Soul music.

138. Why did the ghost become a comedian?

Why did the ghost become a comedian?- halloween jokes for kids

He was dying to make people laugh.

139. What do you call an older monster who doesn’t like jokes?

 What do you call an older monster who doesn’t like jokes?

A groan-up.

140. Why was the zombie a great DJ?

Why was the zombie a great DJ?- halloween jokes for kids

He had a good ear for music.

141. What did one skeleton say to the other on a cold night?

What did one skeleton say to the other on a cold night?

“Bone-chilling, isn’t it?”

142. Why don’t skeletons play music in church?

Why don’t skeletons play music in church?- halloween jokes for kids

They have no organs.

143. What is a skeleton’s favorite snack?

What is a skeleton's favorite snack?- halloween jokes for kids

A cinnabone.

144. Why do skeletons always stay calm?

Why do skeletons always stay calm?

Nothing gets under their skin.

145. What does a ghost do to stay safe in a car?

What does a ghost do to stay safe in a car?

It puts on its sheet belt.

146. What’s a witch’s favorite drink?

What’s a witch’s favorite drink?- halloween jokes for kids

Fresh-BREWED coffee.

147. Why don’t vampires like garlic?

Why don’t vampires like garlic?- halloween jokes for kids

It’s too strong for their taste.

148. Why did the skeleton go to school?

Why did the skeleton go to school?

To bone up on his studies.

149. Why are ghosts so bad at running?

Why are ghosts so bad at running?

They’re always dead on their feet.

150. Why did the vampire join the orchestra?

Why did the vampire join the orchestra?- halloween jokes for kids

He wanted to play his fang-tastic music.

151. What do you get when you cross a ghost with a dog?

What do you get when you cross a ghost with a dog?

A terrier-fying pet.

152. Why don’t mummies tell secrets?

Why don’t mummies tell secrets?- halloween jokes for kids

Because they’ll just unravel.

153. What is a zombie’s favorite kind of bean?

What is a zombie's favorite kind of bean?

A human bean.

154. What’s a zombie’s favorite cereal?

What’s a zombie’s favorite cereal?- halloween jokes for kids

Rice Creepies.

155. Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?

Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?- halloween jokes for kids

It raises their spirits.

156. What’s a ghost’s favorite exercise?

What’s a ghost’s favorite exercise?

Dead lifts.

157. Why did the skeleton cross the road?

Why did the skeleton cross the road?- halloween jokes for kids

To go to the body shop.

158. What’s a witch’s favorite way to stay fit?

What’s a witch’s favorite way to stay fit?

Hex-ercise.

159. What do you get when you cross a skeleton with a tree?

What do you get when you cross a skeleton with a tree?- halloween jokes for kids

A spooky spruce.

160. Why are vampires like false teeth?

Why are vampires like false teeth?

They both come out at night.

161. What’s a werewolf’s favorite holiday?

What’s a werewolf’s favorite holiday?- halloween jokes for kids

Howl-oween.

162. What did the ghost say to the skeleton?

What did the ghost say to the skeleton?

“I’m dying to meet you!”

163. What does a vampire fear the most?

What does a vampire fear the most?- halloween jokes for kids

Tooth decay.

164. Why did the witch go to school?

Why did the witch go to school?

To learn how to spell.

165. How do you spell candy with only two letters?

How do you spell candy with only two letters?- halloween jokes for kids

C and Y.

166. Why did the mummy get kicked out of school?

Why did the mummy get kicked out of school?

He couldn’t keep his wrap shut.

167. What do you call a ghost that’s always tired?

What do you call a ghost that’s always tired?- halloween jokes for kids

Dead on its feet.

168. What’s a zombie’s favorite game?

What’s a zombie’s favorite game?

Dead or Alive.

169. What do you call a ghost who loves to cook?

What do you call a ghost who loves to cook?- halloween jokes for kids

A dead chef.

170. Why do vampires make terrible employees?

Why do vampires make terrible employees?

They only want to work the graveyard shift.

171. Why did the skeleton go skydiving?

Why did the skeleton go skydiving?- halloween jokes for kids

Because he wanted to feel the wind in his bones.

172. What do witches put on their bagels?

What do witches put on their bagels?

Scream cheese.

173. What’s a ghost’s favorite place to swim?

What’s a ghost’s favorite place to swim?

Lake Eerie.

174. Why did the monster bring a flashlight to the graveyard?

Why did the monster bring a flashlight to the graveyard?- halloween jokes for kids

To light up his life.

175. What’s a vampire’s favorite type of weather?

What’s a vampire’s favorite type of weather?

Drac and stormy.

176. What’s a mummy’s favorite food?

What’s a mummy’s favorite food?- halloween jokes for kids

Wraps.

177. Why do skeletons hate winter?

Why do skeletons hate winter?

It gives them the shivers.

178. Why did the skeleton join the marching band?

Why did the skeleton join the marching band?- halloween jokes for kids

Because he had drumsticks.

179. What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?

What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?

A hoblin’ goblin.

180. Why did the vampire get kicked out of the Halloween party?

Why did the vampire get kicked out of the Halloween party?- halloween jokes for kids

He was caught necking.

181. What do you call a skeleton who won’t stop singing?

What do you call a skeleton who won’t stop singing?

A dead crooner.

182. What’s a ghost’s favorite part of the newspaper?

What’s a ghost’s favorite part of the newspaper?

The horror-scope.

183. Why did the mummy go to therapy?

Why did the mummy go to therapy?- halloween jokes for kids

He had too many issues to wrap up.

184. What’s a witch’s favorite candy?

What’s a witch’s favorite candy?- halloween jokes for kids

Witchamacallits.

185. Why did the werewolf break up with his girlfriend?

Why did the werewolf break up with his girlfriend?

She was driving him batty.

186. What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?

What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A neck-tarine.

187. What’s a ghost’s favorite band?

What’s a ghost’s favorite band?- halloween jokes for kids

The Rolling Bones.

188. What do you call a skeleton who tells cheesy jokes?

What do you call a skeleton who tells cheesy jokes?

A punny bone.

189. What’s a witch’s favorite snack?

What’s a witch’s favorite snack?- halloween jokes for kids

Hex-Mix.

190. Why did the witch switch to electric brooms?

Why did the witch switch to electric brooms?

She wanted to go green.

191. What do you call a zombie who writes music?

What do you call a zombie who writes music?- halloween jokes for kids

A decomposer.

192. Why don’t skeletons use cell phones?

 Why don’t skeletons use cell phones?

They have no body to talk to.

193. What’s a vampire’s favorite hobby?

What’s a vampire’s favorite hobby?- halloween jokes for kids

Fang collecting.

194. What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school?

What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school?

Potionomics.

195. Why did the vampire take up gardening?

Why did the vampire take up gardening?

He wanted to grow his own stake.

196. What do you call a skeleton who loves to garden?

What do you call a skeleton who loves to garden?- halloween jokes for kids

A bone-afide green thumb.

197. What’s a mummy’s favorite dessert?

What’s a mummy’s favorite dessert?

Anything wrapped in chocolate.

198. What’s a skeleton’s favorite board game?

What’s a skeleton’s favorite board game?- halloween jokes for kids

Tibial Pursuit.

199. Why did the mummy become a detective?

Why did the mummy become a detective?

He was great at unraveling mysteries.

200. What’s a ghost’s favorite kind of tree?

What’s a ghost’s favorite kind of tree?- halloween jokes for kids

A ceme-tree.

If you loved these Halloween jokes for kids, check out the Best Halloween Books To Add to Your Shelves!

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