Establishing Clear Boundaries in Your Life


Driving is a great illustration for life.

First, what makes driving safe? That line painted down the middle of the road. It’s a boundary that tells you what lane is yours and what lane is mine.

Second, in driving and in life, we encounter people and circumstances everywhere we go that force us to respond quickly and make good decisions.

And third, to get to where we want to go, we must be in the correct lane.

Kevin Thompson, a pastor at Bayside Church in Roseville, California, says, “When we don’t stay in our lane, we focus on a future we can’t control or on a past we can’t undo, and we lose sight of the present. We spin our wheels, but we don’t move forward.”

Kevin joined me on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, to share three lanes to navigate when it comes to protecting important relationships through difficult situations:

  1. Lane 1: What’s Mine?
    1. “What’s mine in marriage?” You can’t control your spouse, but you can control yourself.
    1. “What’s mine at work?” Examine your job description. Define success. Spend your time doing things that move your career forward.
    1. “What’s mine in parenting?” Model intentional living for your kids. Don’t control; influence.
  2. Lane 2: What’s Theirs?

Honor other people’s sense of self. Let their feelings, choices, and consequences belong to them. Their life is not your life.

  • Lane 3: What’s God’s?

When we leave God’s stuff to Him, we are free to love others and to respond to challenges with trust and gratitude.

Listen to my full conversation with Kevin Thompson on your local radio station, online, on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, on our free phone app, or watch on YouTube. This program is part of our “Best of” series for 2024, airing throughout the month of December.

Kevin A. Thompson’s book Stay in Your Lane: Worry Less, Love More, and Get Things Done is available for a gift of any amount. Click here for more information or give us a call at 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459). And when you help Focus on the Family today with a gift, your donation will be DOUBLED for twice the impact in helping others through this ministry. Our thanks to generous donors who’ve made that possible.



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