Turn Toward Your Spouse

Ten minutes. That’s all it takes to turn your marriage around.

Sound too easy? Widely respected marriage therapist Dr. John Gottman has published research that shows unhappy couples can dramatically change their relationship if they’ll devote at least ten minutes throughout the day to one another.

It’s what happens in those ten minutes that the magic happens. It’s where couples “turn toward” one another. That means couples shift their focus away from work, kids, and other distractions of the day and turn their attention toward their spouse. It could be a conversation over dinner, complementing your wife on her appearance, or giving each other a kiss goodbye as you’re both heading out the door. Even in brief exchanges like these, you’re choosing to turn toward each other.

Believe it or not, it’s not lavish vacations or extravagant gifts that best help relationships to thrive, but small, everyday acts. Happy couples take time to talk to one another, to laugh from time to time, and to pay close attention to what the other is doing or saying. Those seemingly insignificant actions are actually powerful moments that keep couples emotionally engaged and stoke the fire of romance and passion in a relationship.

No matter how busy you may be, never be too busy to turn toward your spouse on a daily basis. Ten minutes. That’s all you need to help move your marriage from “surviving” to “thriving.”

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